Being A Father Is Hard. That’s Why There’s Dad School
It was no coincidence that Dove launched its “Real Strength” campaign during this year’s Super Bowl. The ads, tagged “Care Makes a Man Stronger,” feature fathers and their kids in moments of tenderness, and speak to a broadening definition of masculinity the world over. Fatherhood isn’t just about chucking the football around; these days, dads are increasingly sources of compassion, warmth and caring.
This is partly what inspired Jason Bomers, a Toronto web designer, visual artist and stay-at-home father, to start something he’s calling “Dad School.” “I think most guys who are having a baby want to be a bigger part of their kids’ lives, but many don’t really know how,” he says.
Bomers, whose girls are eight and five-years-old, took prenatal classes with his wife before the birth of their first daughter, but felt that his role was primarily defined in terms of support. “Dad School will explain how to be a good partner by doing practical things and showing empathy,” he says, “but it will also show men that they can take control of their role as a parent and have a huge positive effect on their child’s life.”
It’s that sense of community, he claims, that will help foster a culture in which fathers are active and comfortable in raising their kids.
The courses, beginning in June 2015, will comprise three two-hour sessions with twelve participants and three instructors. And while Bomers’ project is limited to Toronto, a number of similar initiatives are springing up all over the country. The Father Involvement Research Alliance is helping develop similar programming with 10 universities and 25 community organizations across Canada.
Like the “It’s My Child Too” program in Ottawa, Dad School will teach men what to expect emotionally, mentally and physically from the prenatal period, through birthing, and into the infancy of each child. Bomers and his co-instructors will also offer practical advice, like how to hold a baby in different situations, which clothes facilitate quick changings, and recommendations for carriers. But mainly Bomers hopes to foster a support network.
“It’s a chance to talk in a relaxed atmosphere where everyone will feel comfortable,” he explains. “It will also be great way to connect with a bunch of other guys who will soon be dads.” It’s that sense of community, he claims, that will help foster a culture in which fathers are active and comfortable in raising their kids, both on their own and equally with their partners.
Jason Bomers offers some practical advice on how to be a dad
Take some time off work. Really.
As much time off as you can after the baby is born. This is a crazy emotional and difficult time and you can be as good or better than your mother-in-law in nurturing the baby.
Don’t be scared of a crying baby.
Crying doesn’t necessarily mean she’s hungry. Soothing a crying baby might seem difficult, but it’s a relationship builder and your partner will appreciate not being the only go-to.
Don’t just wait until your kid’s old enough for T-Ball
The more time you spend with the baby, the more interesting things you’ll notice about him. Plus you can bring a new baby anywhere. They like the movement.
