Hear that buzzing? It’s not bees, and it’s not your tinnitus. It’s the sound of the tens of thousands of recreational drones being flown above your city every day. Ok, so that number may not be factual, but this is: the drones are here, they’re awesome, and they’re a god damn nuisance.
They can fly places we’ve never flown before, flip around more nimbly than a bat and stream video of it all straight to your phone. They’re a powerful new product, and people have been using them in powerful ways. Some uses are noble, some innovative, and some downright stupid. All, however, are entertaining.
Here’s a list of all the things you could do with your new flying menace, ranked.
11) Don’t Deliver Contraband
A literal gift from above. Recently someone dropped a “care package” into the prison yard at a penitentiary in Ohio, causing some inmates to fight over its contents of tobacco, over two ounces of weed and 6 grams of Mom’s famous homemade heroine.
10) Don’t Be A Hero
It’s not a real helicopter, news, fire, ambulance, or otherwise. It’s not going to save anyone from a burning building, or even a cat from a tree. So resist the urge to get some bird’s-eye footage of a local emergency (unlike this guy, whose drone was sprayed from the air by New York’s fire squad) and leave the rescuing to the experts.
9) Don’t Hire One As Your Wedding Photographer
And if you do, make sure it knows First Aid.
8) Don’t Challenge Mother Nature
Because you won’t win.
7) Don’t Clog Public Airways
We’ve been over this. It’s not a real helicopter. Remember the firefighters? So, despite the fact that the winds are so favourable, the space so conveniently free of lines, buildings or any other objects that might hamper flight, and that there’s a handy strip for landing, the airport is not the place to pilot your drone.
6) Do Take It Into The Wild
But before you do that, you should…
5) Do Go To Drone School
Educate yourself for your sake. And everyone else’s.
4) Do Recreate A Star Wars Pod Race
3) Do Collect Whale Mucous
Marine biologists have started using drone’s to catch whales’ “blow,” the genetically rich blowhole discharge, out of the air and transport it back to base for study. If you love this idea, which, you obviously do, you can sponsor the Oceans Alliance’s Snotbot Kickstarter here. Patrick Stewart loves it.
2) Do Sacrifice Your Body For Its Safety
1) Do Shoot Them Out Of The Air With Sound
Like most things that are fun to pilot remotely, drones are also fun to destroy remotely. But instead of just shooting them out of the air with shotguns (which, you totally could), why not take the less destructive and more creative route and fight modern technology with more modern technology, like these Korean researchers did.