Here’s Everything You Need to Know to Win a Fight

Alex Nino Gheciu January 20, 2016

It’s a scenario we all imagine, whether it’s realistic at your stage of life or not: some no-neck raging bull is staring holes into you. Whether or not you said what he thinks he heard is irrelevant — you may as well be draped in red and getting whipped around by a matador at this point. He’s already chest-bumping you and calling you bro, even though you’re quite sure you’re not related. Battle is inevitable.

So what now? Misha Cirkunov, a Toronto-based UFC fighter and mixed martial arts coach, says it’s best to avoid any brawl outside of an octagon. “I’d recommend just apologizing and leaving the situation,” he says. “Even turn around and sprint. At the end of the day, it’s not worth it.”

But sometimes, diplomacy doesn’t work. And, if you’d rather leave the situation with your dignity (and bone structure) intact, you’ll need to put your dukes up. Cirkunov has advice on how to tussle your way out of any situation.

Fist Fight

Cirkunov suggests throwing punches sparingly; breaking a hand via an improper haymaker happens more easily than you think. So if someone comes at you swinging, play defense. Put your fists in front of him and keep your elbows in. When you see an opening, jab him in a straight line. “Often, when people fight, they just swing their arms, making it easy for the other guy to get the underhook,” he says.

You want to get the clinch first. Put your arm under your attacker’s arm and hug his midsection or upper body. Then try driving him against a wall. This will give onlookers enough time to either break up the fight or call security.

The Rear Chokehold

Only Steven Seagal gets out of this hold by bending at the hip and flipping the assailant over. For the rest of us, that just tightens the choke. The key, says Cirkunov, is to control your goon’s weakest link: his fingers and wrists. “If they can’t lock their hands together, they can’t choke you,” he says.

From there, Cirkunov recommends doing what seems most obvious: “Head-butt him with the back of your head.”

A Swarm

A flock of enemies will usually try to get you circled, and the bravest will be the guy directly behind you. “I’ve seen this exact scenario back when I worked security,” says Cirkunov. “One guy chokes you from behind, the other punches you in the face.” So stay light on your feet and make sure your back is never exposed. Then, at your first chance, beat it.

“Sprint as fast as you possibly can,” says Cirkunov. “If you need to, turn around and take care of the first person running behind you, one-on-one. That’s a smarter tactic.”

MMA-Style Takedown

Cirkunov predicts most dudes will attempt a double leg takedown. If he goes for one, spread your legs wide apart. “That way, if he gets one of your legs, your other leg is still on the ground and you can hop on one foot, keeping your balance,” he says.

What’s more, both your opponent’s hands will be wrapped around your leg, while you’ll have two free arms you can use to “uppercut him or put him in a front headlock.”

The Warrior Mindset

None of these fighting tactics will work if your mental game isn’t prepped first. Cirkunov insists on always having a conceptual blueprint of what you’re about to do. “Don’t just let your body and instinct react,” he says. “Take three to five deep breaths and think of the situation. It’ll be much easier to pull off. If you’re unsure of what you’re doing, you’ll tense up and become slow, predictable and weak.”

Fighting Shape

Realistically, the best workout to ready you for combat would be mixed martial arts training. However, if you’re strapped for time, he recommends sprinting up a hill repeatedly. “You’ll develop strong legs, strong lungs and a strong heart,” he says. “It’ll prepare you for the worst-case scenario, where you’ll need to run away from your opponent. It’ll come in handy.”