A Seattle Man Has Been Stuck in a Tree for 24 Hours, and the Internet Is Freaking Out

Stop whatever you’re doing and watch this. A man has been stuck in an 80-foot tree in downtown Seattle for the last 24 hours, and it is, without doubt, the most bizarrely riveting you’ll see all week.

Local news is on the scene and streaming it live online.

Nothing is known about the man — who he is, why he’s up there, how he sleeps. But that kind of just makes it all the more compelling.

And in case you’re wondering: Yes, he’s taken care of his business.

“Nature called, and it didn’t go to voicemail,” one KOMO reporter offered.

Authorities spent hours yesterday negotiating with the man, trying to coax him down.

They closed the intersection after he began throwing apples and pinecones at pedestrians who had gathered below.

Seattle has a severe homelessness problem, a fact that the KOMO live stream has touched on throughout its coverage. The crew has speculated this may become a touchstone moment in the city’s crisis.

This is maybe the most-exciting least-exciting thing I’ve ever been witness to. This is the internet. This is real life.