The description of this sweater on French label Drapeau Noir’s website is succinct and somewhat vague: “Cardigan Deck. Two pockets. 100% Merino wool. Made in Portugal.” Hmm. Okay then. Let’s break this down a little, shall we?
“Cardigan Deck.” I have zero idea what this means. It’s probably just the result of a shoddy Google Translate transaction, but what it originally read in French is beyond me. Is it trying to say that it’s a good cardigan to wear on decks? Because that is very true — it’s easy to picture yourself huddled in this thing on a windy, wintry Muskoka night. Was it meant to read “Cardigans ON Deck”? Because, sure, yeah, dope, the more cardigans the better imho. Perhaps it’s some kind of cardigan/tape deck hybri— nah, you know what? I’m going to stop myself right there. That was a dumb joke, sorry.
“Two pockets.” See? Now this I understand. There are pockets. Two of them, specifically. These are handy for things like keys and coins and cold hands. Two pockets. Got it. Great. Let’s move on.
“100% Merino wool.” Whoa, easy there, Drapeau Noir. No need to stunt so hard. You had me at “Two pockets.” These joints are made from pure Merino wool, you say? As in “some of the finest and softest wool of any sheep” according to the arbiters of truth at Wikipedia? Damn. That sounds cozy AF.
“Made in Portugal.” You know what else was made in Portugal? Cristiano Ronaldo. And that guy is really handsome and also good at soccer. You will look almost as handsome in this sweater. I don’t know you, so I can’t comment on how good or not good you are at soccer. But I wish you all the best out on that pitch, son. Show ’em your stuff.
So, there you have it. This is a good cardigan. You should buy it and such. Talk soon, fam.