Yes, Super Bowl 51 ended in pretty historic fashion. But let’s be real: the first half of Sunday’s big game was kind of boring AF. Luckily, though, there was still plenty to hold our attention during the commercial breaks until things really got going in the fourth quarter.
Over the past few years, the Super Bowl – thanks to all the millions of eyeballs watching around the world – has become the go-to event for Hollywood to drop trailers for some of its most-anticipated movies and TV shows. And just in case you missed any last night, we’ve rounded them all up for you below, along with the biggest takeaways from each.
Stranger Things 2
What We Learned: We’d better start stocking up on frozen waffles, because Season 2 of Netflix’s runaway hit is looking every bit as good as the first. Judging from those Ghostbusters costumes, the ‘80s nostalgia/sci-fi mashup will be jumping ahead to 1984 for its sophomore season, and judging from this trailer, there’s something even scarier than the Demogorgon waiting for the town of Hawkins, Indiana in the Upside Down. As for the rest of it, I can’t even begin to decipher what it all means. I just know I’m extremely excited to binge on Stranger Things and Eggos come Halloween.
What We Learned: The new Marvel series from Fargo showrunner Noah Hawley promises to be A) extremely trippy and B) feature… a levitating baby? Sign me up.
The Handmaid’s Tale
What We Learned: This Hulu adaptation of Margaret Atwood’s dystopian classic is going to hit way, way too close to home in 2017.
The Walking Dead
What We Learned: The Walking Dead guys hate football almost as much as Atlanta fans do right now.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
What We Learned: Marvel’s quirky sci-fi space opera took audiences by surprise in 2014, but if this Super Bowl spot is any indication, no one’s going to be sleeping on the sequel. Looks like the team has added a couple new members, and the villain’s taken decorating tips from Trump Tower. We’ll have to see whether bigger means better for Vol. 2, but these early returns are definitely looking positive.
Ghost in the Shell
What We Learned: Nothing at all. I thought we were getting a new, extended trailer from the live-action Ghost in the Shell adaptation for the Super Bowl. Instead, we just got the same 30 seconds of same-old footage that was released last week. File this one under: Well, that’s disappointing.
A Cure for Wellness
What We Learned: Someone was definitely watching a bunch of old SNL drug commercial parodies on Hulu when they came up with this spot. Otherwise, I’m having a little trouble determining whether this was an ad for a creepy new horror movie or the GOP’s plan for “fixing” the American health care system. Either way, it’s downright terrifying.
The Fate of the Furious
What We Learned: Every single plot twist in the whole damn movie: that Vin Diesel’s Dom turns against his family. That Jason Statham is a good guy now. There’s a car chase with frickin’ submarine. And you know what? I couldn’t care less. You could tell me the entire plot ahead of time and I’d still buy a ticket for opening day.
What We Learned: This could be an even better Alien rip-off than the one Ridley Scott has planned for later this year.
Transformers: The Last Knight
What We Learned: Anthony Hopkins thinks we want to know why the Transformers keep coming back. But we already know the answer to that: because Michael Bay needs the excuse to blow more shit up.
John Wick: Chapter 2
What We Learned: The John Wick team threw some serious shade at 50 Shades Darker, and we are 100 percent down for it. We are also 100 percent down for this movie, which I’m happy to confirm is every bit as epic as the first one. If anything, this trailer barely does the film’s non-stop action justice.
What We Learned: This movie is going to be meta. Probably too much for its own good. (See: that creaky, self-aware “slow-mo” joke.) Best case scenario? 21 Jump Street, with lifeguards.
What We Learned: There’s not much new footage, as far as I could tell. So all we really learned is that this movie looks every bit as bad-ass set to “Amazing Grace” as it does set to Johnny Cash’s “Hurt” cover. Good to know.
Pirate of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
What We Learned: In the words of a friend at my Super Bowl party last night: “They’re still making these movies?” Apparently so. Otherwise, there’s a zombie seagull, ghost pirates and Johnny Depp’s Keith Richards impression Jack Sparrow is back. So it’s got that going for it, at least.