The 16 Greatest Giant Monsters in Movie History
Is there anything better than watching a giant, lumbering monster lay waste to waves of puny humans? That’s a rhetorical question, just FYI. Because the answer is clearly “Uh, absolutely not.”
See, monster movies combine pretty much everything we look for in an action blockbuster: explosions, city-leveling destruction, state-of-the art (theoretically) special effects. And while we’ve gone from dudes in foam rubber terrorizing miniatures to CGI behemoths since the 1950s monster movie heyday, the general formula for what makes a good monster has pretty much remained the same: teeth, and lots of them. Also, the bigger, the better.
And as Kong: Skull Island rumbles into theatres this week, it feels like a monster movie from a bygone era, in the best way possible. Right down to those knockdown, drag-out monster fights. After the 2014 Godzilla remake (AKA the non-Matthew Broderick edition), it’s the second entry in a new monster-sized franchise – complete with a Marvel-worthy post-credits scene teasing even more famous creatures to come.
So, in honour of Kong: Skull Island, we decided to rank the best giant monsters in movie history, awarding points based on size, smarts, intimidation factor and looks.
16. The Claw
Size: 6
Intelligence: 4
Intimidation Factor: 1
Design: -10
Total: 1
There’s classic movie monsters, and then there’s The Giant Claw. Billed as an extraterrestrial prehistoric bird from “some godforsaken anti-matter galaxy,” the Claw boasts some legit monster bonafides: it’s roughly the size of the Empire State Building, can fly four times faster than the speed of sound, and is surrounded by “an energy shield of anti-matter which repels everything science can devise.” Whatever the hell that means. The only problem is, the hilariously low-budget puppet also looks like the bastard lovechild between a turkey, a vulture and a Muppet. Verdict: more laughable than terrifying.
15. Gorgo
Size: 2
Intelligence: 3
Intimidation Factor: 3
Design: 2
Total: 10
“Like nothing you’ve ever seen before,” boasts the movie poster for 1961’s Gorgo. Except that’s not entirely true, considering the dude’s little more than a clear Godzilla rip-off. According to the official explanation, the British Godzilla – ahem, “giant lizard” – was a prehistoric sea monster found off the Irish coast, which is a decent enough origin story, all things considered. But the fact that he had to be saved from a London circus by his rampaging 200-foot-tall mom means Gorgo’s not even the most badass monster in his family. Also, you just know Gorgo got grounded after the credits rolled.
14. Nancy
Size: 2
Intelligence: 8
Intimidation Factor: 3
Design: 3
Total: 16
If “casual sexism” was a category, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman would rate off the charts. As the trailer says, Allison Hayes’ Nancy Archer was “once a normal, voluptuously beautiful woman,” before she was transformed into a skyscraper-sized monster (who just so happens to wear a miniskirt) after an alien encounter. Instead of destroying any major cities though, Nancy’s rampage mainly consists of her going after her shitbag cheating husband. Also, she’s not helped any by that name. “Run! It’s… Nancy!” just doesn’t have the same ring to it, you know?
13. Mothra
Size: 4
Intelligence: 8
Intimidation Factor: 1
Design: 4
Total: 17
Easily the most trash of all the classic Japanese kaiju, Mothra is essentially just a giant butterfly. Full stop. It’s hard to believe this goofy-looking oversized bug was ever considered a legitimate nemesis for Godzilla, as opposed to, I don’t know, a 50-foot-tall sentient wool sweater. But like Kong, Mothra’s worshiped as a god on her (yup, she’s a she) own private island and has her own miniature priestesses/hype men. Oh, and she can’t be killed. So she’s got that going for her, at least.
12. Rodan
Size: 5
Intelligence: 5
Intimidation Factor: 4
Design: 4
Total: 18
Basically a glorified sidekick at this point, Rodan went from his own movie in 1956 to Godzilla’s wingman, helping the giant lizard square off against some of the other monsters on this list. He’s got a superhuman heat tolerance, meaning he can take a blast of Godzilla’s atomic breath without flinching, but otherwise, he’s just an oversized prehistoric bird. Meh.
11. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
Size: 6
Intelligence: 3
Intimidation Factor: 2
Design: 8
Total: 19
Out of all the city-levelling beasts on our list, Stay Puft is probably the cuddliest of the bunch, thanks to its Pillsbury Doughboy-esque designs. But don’t let the goofy grin fool you, this 100-foot-tall sentient marshmallow mascot can still do some serious damage in the name of Gozer the Gozerian. That sailor outfit isn’t doing him any favours in the intimidation department though.
10. The Kraken
Size: 7
Intelligence: 3
Intimidation Factor: 8
Design: 3
Total: 21
This mythical sea monster has showed up everywhere from Clash of the Titans to the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, and even has his own catchphrase thanks to Liam Neeson. In the original Clash, FX legend Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion Kraken had a whole Creature from the Black Lagoon/giant fish-man vibe going, but in the remake, he became just a grab-bag of random CGI monster parts: crab legs, tentacles, and a head like the Cloverfield monster. Still pretty imposing, but not exactly memorable.
9. MechaGodzilla
Size: 7
Intelligence: 3
Intimidation Factor: 9
Design: 5
Total: 24
Depending on what movie you pick, MechaGodzilla was created either by aliens or the UN as some sort of anti-Godzilla countermeasure. But what robo-Godzilla lacks in originality it more than makes up for in sheer, over-the-top firepower: it can fire laser beams from its eyes, flamethrowers from its nose, and missiles from its mouth, fingers, knees and toes. Upon further reflection, MechaGodzilla was presumably created by a deranged 5-year-old.
8. Gamera
Size: 6
Intelligence: 10
Intimidation Factor: 4
Design: 7
Total: 27
The Pepsi to Godzilla’s Coke, Gamera was originally conceived to compete with the big lizard at the box office. But does Godzilla have his own theme song? I don’t think so. Like all giant, fire-breathing mutant turtles, Gamera’s able to fly by shooting flames out of his legs (because, of course). And the kids love him, earning him the nickname “Friend of All Children,” which to be fair, probably doesn’t exactly strike fear into the hearts of other monsters. Also, he’s super good at gymnastics, for some reason?
7. The Cloverfield Monster
Size: 9
Intelligence: 5
Intimidation Factor: 8
Design: 6
Total: 28
Thanks to the whole “found footage” angle, we don’t get a very good look of the Cloverfield monster until the very end, which makes it the Jaws of the giant monster world. But it’s probably safe to say that anything that can take the head clear off the Statue of Liberty and toss it 50-plus blocks is pretty damn intimidating. The fact that it’s covered in tick-like parasites doesn’t make it any less skin-crawling.
6. Slattern
Size: 6
Intelligence: 6
Intimidation Factor: 9
Design: 8
Total: 29
Essentially a modern-day reinvention of the classic Godzilla monsters, the kaiju in Pacific Rim run the gamut in terms of creature design. There’s Knifehead (whose head looks like, uh, a knife) the lumbering gorilla-like Leatherback, the acid-spewing Komodo dragon-inspired Otachi. They’re all pretty imposing in their own right, but thanks to the movie’s hurricane-like classification system, they’re nothing compared to the “Category 5” Slattern, a sort of glowing demonic hammerhead shark that shows up as the movie’s final boss.
5. King Kong
Size: 5
Intelligence: 10
Intimidation Factor: 6
Design: 9
Total: 30
Godzilla may get the credit for being “King of the Monsters,” but King Kong was actually the OG giant movie monster, first appearing in 1933, or some two decades before Godzilla terrorized Tokyo. Originally only about 40 feet tall, Skull Island has the giant ape listed at 104 feet, and we’re told he’s still growing. Usually portrayed as a misunderstood hero, Kong’s also the most relatable of the kaiju – the big guy doesn’t really like airplanes, enjoys going sightseeing in NYC, has a well-documented weakness for pretty blondes and gets into trouble when he hits the jungle juice too hard. In other words, King Kong is all of us. And we love him for it.
4. King Ghidorah
Size: 10
Intelligence: 4
Intimidation Factor: 8
Design: 9
Total: 31
It’s unclear what exactly King Ghidorah is king of, considering he doesn’t have his own island, like Kong or Mothra. Maybe it’s like a “Secret” thing? If you dream it, you can do it, Ghidorah. But as the only monster that never teamed up with Godzilla, this three-headed, two-tailed, no-armed dragon officially counts as the monster’s arch-nemesis, covered in golden scales that Godzilla’s atomic breath can’t pierce (and making him the Donald Trump of the kaiju world). At his biggest, King Ghidorah came in at 500 feet tall, making him the largest monster on this list. But I just keep coming back to the no arms thing. How scary can you be if you can’t even do a push-up? Do you even lift, bro?
3. SpaceGodzilla
Size: 7
Intelligence: 8
Intimidation Factor: 9
Design: 9
Total: 33
WTF is SpaceGodzilla, you might be asking yourself. Exactly what it sounds like: an evil alien Godzilla clone, only with giant glowing crystals sticking out of its body. Also, he’s got some sort of telekenisis and can fly. Because sure, why not? So basically, he’s Godzilla’s crystal-obsessed, New Age cousin. That’s straight-up terrifying.
2. Gigan
Size: 8
Intelligence: 7
Intimidation Factor: 10
Design: 10
Total: 35
Want to know how badass Gigan is? He’s the first monster in the entire Toho series to make Godzilla visibly bleed. So, yeah. This one-eyed freakshow is basically a walking wood shop, with metal scythes for hands and a giant buzzsaw running down its front. And in later incarnations, the cyborg space monster got an upgrade to included freakin’ chainsaws for hands. Basically, he’s not the type of monster you want to get in a fistfight with. (Or hug it out with afterwards, for that matter.)
1. Godzilla
Size: 8
Intelligence: 9
Intimidation Factor: 10
Design: 10
Total: 37
C’mon. Who else were you expecting to take #1? Often imitated (see above), never duplicated – Godzilla’s king of the monsters for good reason. A walking, atomic-breathing commentary on nuclear warfare, the radioactive reptile has appeared in over 30 films since first being introduced in 1954, ranging anywhere from 160 feet tall to 350 feet in Gareth Edward’s 2014 reboot (we’re going to just pretend the Roland Emmerich one didn’t exist, cool?). In short, he’s the monster all the other monsters have nightmares about.
