Things A Man Should Never Wear: Après Ski

Bianca Teixeira January 7, 2015

After a long day on the slopes, it’s almost a necessity to wind down on the après ski scene. But just because you’re coming in from the cold (or staying out in it) doesn’t mean that anything goes, sartorially. Like most everything else in life, there is a bit of a dress code to adhere to.

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80s-Style Bright Separates

If the above looks at all familiar, it’s time to update your wardrobe. These neon patched jackets and pants will only help you in looking monumentally stupid when surrounded by people in outerwear from THIS century.

Fingerless Gloves

These accessories are absolutely useless to begin with on a mountain top. Your texts can wait until you get inside. Which is when you’d take off your gloves anyway.

Fur

Why do you think these models look so miserable? It’s because no man wants to be seen in fur accessories.

A Goggle Tan

Obviously, if you already have one from the day’s activities, you may not have a choice about wearing it to après ski. But, you can take precautions beforehand and apply lots of sunscreen.

Droopy Knit Hats

We understand that after a day of wearing tight togues or helmets, your hair isn’t looking it’s best. But you can do a lot better than a frat-boy knit hat. If Kellan Lutz* can’t pull it off, neither can you.

*We’re actually not sure. An actor, maybe?

One Piece Thermal Wear

In other words: your underwear. A ski chalet is not your living room so don’t show up in only your underwear. Even if it is full body.

Over-The-Top Thick Sweaters

Yes, it can get a little cold out on the slopes but there’s no need for a sweater so absurdly thick that no one will be able to sit near you later. There are lots of sweaters that provide just as much warmth without sacrificing 100 sheep for it.

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Uggs

Much like long johns, Ugg boots (or slippers of any kind) give off too much of a casual comfort vibe. Being in a chalet après ski is about warm beverages, a crackling fire and tales of the slopes. Not for you to act like Ed Bundy.

Ugly Sweaters

No! It’s not Christmas and even if it was, these kinds of sweaters should never make an appearance with polite company.

Wet Clothes

While you’re not supposed to hit the showers and change before heading to an apres ski, you also shouldn’t arrive covered in melting snow. Leave your jacket and snow pants with your skis. Plus, you should shower.

We rounded up a few items of clothing that should be left at home…or burned.