11 Things We Want to Happen in Space Jam 2
In case you didn’t hear, Space Jam 2 is officially happening. That’s right, ‘90s kids, the 20-year wait is finally over: we’re actually getting a sequel to the 1996 live-action/animated classic and highest-grossing basketball movie of all-time. (Also, you might have a different definition of the word “classic,” but you’d be wrong.)
After spending years chasing Jordan’s legacy on the court, LeBron James is now looking to become the next MJ off it as well, taking over for His Airness to star in the long-awaited sequel to the NBA/Looney Tunes All-Star crossover. And now the project has a director circling it in Justin Lin, who’s already well-versed in physics-defying cartoon action from his work on the Fast & Furious franchise.
And while it’s still too early to know what the plot’s going to be, with LeBron already on board, it’s a safe bet this thing is going to feature more NBA star power than the 2016 US Olympic team. Here’s a few other things we’d love to see happen when Space Jam 2 finally hits theaters.
1. Bring back MJ
No offense to LBJ, but there’s a simple reason no one’s lived up to the “next Jordan” hype in the 13 years since MJ retired for good: because no one can ever truly be the next Jordan. And it’d be smart of Space Jam 2 to acknowledge that inalienable truth right off the bat. But if for some reason, MJ’s not willing to sign on for a quick cameo, they can always just use the Crying Jordan meme instead. You know someone’s going to Photoshop it onto the movie poster anyway.
2. A Steph Curry cameo
The reigning NBA MVP already plays the game as if the laws of physics don’t apply, considering the ridiculous video game numbers he puts up. Not to mention, he routinely launches three-pointers that have no more business going in than Wile E. Coyote has of catching the Road Runner. Really, this is a no-brainer.
3. Dwight Howard as the new Monstars captain
In case you didn’t know, the Rockets big man loves cartoons (more than any grown adult should be comfortable admitting). Plus, over half of NBA fans already hate the guy anyway, so casting Howard as Space Jam 2’s lead bad guy wouldn’t take much suspension of disbelief. Also, just imagine the tailor-made hilarity of watching the Tune Squad try to shoot after Dwight sprays the ball with Stickum. It practically writes itself.
4. Get Drake for the soundtrack
The original Space Jam soundtrack reads like a who’s who of the hip-hop and R&B world in 1996: Seal, Coolio, Busta Rhymes, LL Cool J and Salt-N-Pepa all contributed tracks, and R. Kelly even won a Grammy for “I Believe I Can Fly.” So why not include the Raptor’s most famous fan for the sequel? If the 6 God can rap about the Cheesecake Factory, he can sure as hell rap about Bugs Bunny.
5. Bill Hader should play the Bill Murray role
Out of all the things on this list, this suggestion is probably our most realistic. Hader and LeBron had great chemistry in last summer’s Trainwreck. And Hader’s an OKC diehard who can boast more goofy voices than the entire Tunes roster. Or they could just use Bill Murray again, because really, what movie isn’t improved with a Bill Murray cameo?
6. At least one car chase
Yes, Space Jam is supposed to be about basketball (and cartoons). But as Hollywood’s reigning expert in vehicular mayhem, Lin’s movies should come with a one-chase minimum from now on. And we’ll be pretty disappointed if his Space Jam sequel doesn’t feature at least one car jumping over – or through – something.
7. An appearance by Blake Griffin
Did you see Griffin on Broad City this season? Dude clearly knows how to poke fun at himself. Although we’d probably aim for a little less full-frontal nudity here. This is still a kids’ movie, after all. Also, just FYI Justin Lin, but Blake has prior experience dunking over cars…
8. The Decision 2.0
The original Space Jam made fun of Jordan’s ill-advised baseball career, right? So why not do the same with LeBron holding a massive press conference to announce that this time, he’ll be taking his talents to the Tune Squad instead of South Beach? (Sorry, Cleveland.)
9. A scarier villain
In the original movie, Danny DeVito voices the slimy owner of an intergalactic theme park who tries to steal Jordan for his new star attraction. But why not up the ante with an even scarier threat for the sequel? Like, say, having slimy Knicks owner James Dolan try to force LeBron to play for the Knicks. Now that’s terrifying.
10. LeBron wins the big game with a crucial last-second flop
All due respect to LeBron – the guy still has two more rings and four more MVP awards than our entire office combined – but he’s no MJ. And while His Airness ultimately won the game with one of his signature free throw line dunks in the original Space Jam, we’d love to see James win the sequel thanks to one of his signature flops.
11. Let the original 1996 website stay exactly as is
If you want some real ‘90s nostalgia, just check out the original Space Jam website, which has remained unchanged (and fully functional!) for 20 glorious years. We say if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
