Venomous Spiders in Australia Won’t Leave this Dude’s Dong Alone

Well, this is terrifying. For the second time in five months, a man in Australia has been bitten on his junk by a venomous Redback spider.

Both times, Jordan, who curiously did not want to provide his last name, was using a portapotty – or a portaloo, in the local dialect – at work when the spider bit his dong.

This new bite was “pretty much in the same spot” as the first, he told the BBC in an interview.

“Toilets got cleaned that day and I thought it was my opportunity to go use one. Had a look under both seats and then I sat down did my business. Next thing you know, I’m bent over in pain.”

Though he’s expected to return to work shortly, the BBC is reporting that the 21-year-old tradesman – a tradie, if you will – is probably just going to hold it in while he’s on the job from now on.

“I’m the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment,” he said, modestly underestimating his misfortune.

Approximately 2000 people are bitten by Redbacks in Australia each year . Some good news, though: Since the development of antivenom in the 1950s, the bites now rarely result in death.

In an interview with Adelaide newspaper The Advertiser, Australian Academy of Science’s Associate Professor Bryan Fry partcipated in some serious victim-blaming, saying:

“It’s our fault that redbacks are on the dunny, in fact we’re the best thing that ever happened to them — where there’s humans, there will be insects for them to feed on.”

I don’t really a dunny is, but, you know what? Fair enough. Fair. Enough.