Valentine’s Day is almost upon us (February 14th, for those of you in need of a reminder) and you’re still coming up short on gift ideas? Breathe a deep sigh of relief, my friend. We’re here to help. The bright minds at Sharp have joined (and exhausted) our collective brainpower in a bid to help you make this Valentine’s Day one to remember. No, there are no flowers or chocolate on this list. We’re going big.

Gucci x The North Face Waist Bag 

What says “I want to spend eternity with you” more than giving your loved one a convenient and on-trend place to stash their hand sanitizer and face-masks? Safety first. $1,275, Gucci

Big Agnes Dream Island Sleeping Bag

This sleeping bag accommodates two people, while also securing your pillow and sleeping mat in place so you don’t roll onto the cold, hard ground in the middle of the night. Now the only thing that can disturb your sleep while camping is that mysterious rustling sound in the woods that wakes you up at 2 AM. You know it’s most likely a chipmunk, but it could be a bear. At least you have your loved one to hold you close. $399.95, MEC

Dior Black Lambskin D-Dream Beret

They say Paris is always a good idea. This year may be the exception, thanks to Covid-19 and all that jazz. Take a trip to Paris in your mind with this lambskin beret from Dior. Baguette sold separately. $1,350, Dior

Glenlivet Nadurra First Fill Selection

Among our favourite single malt scotches. Aged in first fill American white oak barrels, it’s a light, zesty, and fruity scotch for the person who likes rich scotches. Let’s hope that’s your Valentine, and not just you. $85.85, LCBO

Richard Mille RM 69 Tourbillon Winding Erotic

Three dials on this playful timepiece randomly select different suggestive phrases that we won’t repeat here. It’s for the type of person  – Drake and Travis Scott, included – who doesn’t mind wearing their desires on their sleeve (and is also okay with you spending hundreds-of-thousands of dollars on a watch). Price upon request, Richard Mille

Moncler Dauphine Large Bag

This nylon backpack measures 26cm high, by 28 cm wide, by 20 cm deep. How many boxes of chocolate can that hold? Well, our calculations have proved inconclusive, but we hope it’s a lot. The bag comes with an adjustable crossbody strap and plenty of exterior pockets. $1,225, Moncler

Iittala Aalto Vase

Give flowers inside this classic Alvar Aalto design and your partner is likely to act like one of those kids who enjoys the box that their gift comes in more than the gift itself. $310, Mjolk

Cartier White Gold Love Bracelet

Plenty of Valentine’s Day gifts are corny and rely on novelty. Not this bracelet. While it is a worthy of expression of your love – it does come from Cartier’s long-standing “Love Collection”, after all – its spare, frill-free form is also chic and timeless. $6,550, Cartier

Louis Vuitton Reykjavik Chine Scarf

Reykjavik is cold at this time of year, but your loved one’s heart won’t be when you give them this scarf made of melt-in-your-hands cashmere. It’s even finished with some fun fringe for good measure. $1,180, Louis Vuitton

Ezcaray Mia Throw

Bundle up together under this blanket made of a mohair and extra-fine wool blend from Spanish brand Ezcaray. It’s sold by Dexter and Byron Peart’s shop Goodee, meaning you can rest easy knowing that it’s good for the planet. $249, Goodee

All Blues Platform Ring 

Put a (signet) ring on it, with this sterling silver design handcrafted in Stockholm. It’s flat top is polished smooth, while it’s sides are textured thanks to a brushed finish. $335, Neighbour

Byredo Bibliotheque Candle

Nothing sets the mood quite like the scent of a…French library? Trust us. It’s less dusty, leather-bound copies of The Count of Monte Cristo, and more peach, plum, vanilla, and patchouli. $120, Want Apothecary

Tekla Classic Bathrobe

Denmark’s it-brand for bedding and bath wear has crafted what may be the perfect unisex bathrobe. We recommend the Carmel colourway, with its sharp blue pinstripe. It’s also 100% organic, if that tickles your fancy. US$205, Tekla

F. Miller Necessity Kit

Give the gift of smooth, hydrated skin with this kit that includes a face oil, body oil, cleansing oil, toning mist, and, yes, a lip balm (all in a cool reusable washed paper bag) from Toronto’s own F. Miller. This is the Necessity Kit, so you have no choice but to buy it. $145, F. Miller Skincare

Longines Dolce Vita

The best gifts are practical gifts. At long last, give the gift of being on-time with the DolceVita from Longines. $1,500, Longines

When Objects Work Bohemian Crystal Carafe

Ditch the wine bottle and use this crystal carafe designed by UK architect and master of minimalism John Pawson. Nobody has to know just how expensive (or inexpensive) that bottle of wine is when it’s in a carafe that looks this good. $236, Inform Interiors

YSL Y Eau de Toilette

Stimulate the senses with this classic scent from YSL. With a top note of bergamot supported by fragrant iris, it leaves a… titillating…trail. $135, YSL Beauty

48 North Sex Pot Intimacy Oil

Not only is this intimacy oil made of a sensuous blend of natural oils, it’s also infused with THC to heighten sensation and “stimulate your natural chemistry”. It bears repeating that this is THC, not CBD. Keep your acronyms straight for desired results. $49.95, OCS

Sade Baron La Rose

Scrub down with this bar of soap that includes French pink clay powder. Like all products from Toronto brand Sade Baron, it’s made of all-natural and ethically sourced ingredients. It looks cool too, like a slab of pink marble. $14, Sade Baron

Hennessy Paradis Impérial Cognac

A blend of cognacs that range from 35 to 130 years old, this Hennessy has notes of jasmine and orange blossom. And that, in our opinion, makes for the perfect nightcap. $3,825, LCBO