13 Questions We Have for Lindsay Lohan’s Accent Coach
In the storied tradition of celebrities adopting weird accents seemingly out of nowhere (lookin’ at you Madonna, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Joss Stone), Lindsay Lohan has emerged in Athens with an interview that features a cadence that’s impossible to place. Early guesses are that it’s an amalgamation of Irish, Turkish and Australian, with just a hint of Russian tossed in for good measure.
We’d like to think that this random accent (dubbed Lilohan by the actress herself) is for a role because it’s possibly her best work since Mean Girls. And while we’re all for a Lohannassaince, we have some questions for her accent coach (please god, let there be one to blame).
1. Why are there so many different lilts going on in her enunciation?
2. Where are YOU from?
3. Do people speak this way there? Can you provide a recording as proof?
4. We didn’t think so. Are you even an accent coach?
5. If Dennis is really her “friend,” why hasn’t he taken her aside to tell her she sounds weird AF?
6. Were you also Lohan’s coach for the Lifetime movie Liz & Dick? Because that accent was muddled at best as well.
7. Did you catch Liz & Dick? It was amazingly bad.
8. In your professional opinion, does Elizabeth Taylor even count as having an accent? Or is that just your standard-issue Rich Person Intonation?
9. Back to the matter at hand: are you aware that Lohan already did an amazing English accent in the 1998 classic The Parent Trap?
10. Seriously, her accent rivalled that of Natasha Richardson (#gonetoosoon), an actual English person. Lohan isn’t playing her role in a Parent Trap reboot, is she? IS SHE??
11. Is there a chance that this movie is of the kind that can be set literally anywhere in Europe and still only ask principle actors to do an English accent? We think that’s a safer route.
12. Can you make her a redhead again for this role? It’s just a personal preference.
13. Are you getting paid for your services? There were rumours about Lohan’s money troubles, and to be honest, if judged separately, her French, Irish and Russian accents are pretty solid. You deserve some sort of payment. And not just signed DVDs of Liz & Dick.
