Ask Gordon Ramsay. We won’t spend a lot of time on technique here — halve it, slice vertical lines through it, then slice down the other way — but we will say the difference between you and a chef is probably the sharpness of your knife. Yours could almost definitely be sharper. To make that happen, run it against a honing steel before and after each use. And make sure to keep it clean — a good chef’s knife should be rinsed and dried immediately, and should never go in the dishwasher. Of course, none of this will do anything about the tears. You’re on your own for that.