Finding Time: Discussions on Fatherhood and Family
There’s no clear blueprint to fatherhood. When the time comes to adopt the weighty mantle of “dad,” there’s no tidy handbook offering step-by-step instructions. Try as we might to avoid the classic pitfalls of parenting, trial and error seems to be the inevitable fallback. The same goes for how we, in turn, try to celebrate and appreciate our own fathers, or father figures. Thankfully there exist nuggets of wisdom to help nudge us in the right direction. This year, we’re taking a look back at some invaluable insights from some of the best fathers we know, as compiled from past print issues of SHARP.
Craig Harding: Culinary Director, La Palma, Bar Prima, and Constantine
What recipe are you most excited to teach your son when he’s older?
I’m most excited about getting covered in flour and making fresh pasta, which is something I’ve always loved doing. When I was young, I would stand on a chair in the kitchen and help my nonna make gnocchi, which is a tradition that has been passed down through the Italian side of my family.
What is the best advice you’ve received about fatherhood?
I read something along the lines of “the days are long, but the years are short,” when it comes to your children growing up. So, even though little Rome is only three months old, I’m focused on spending quality time with him and Marie at home. But that can be a challenge when you have a schedule as busy as mine.
“I hope to be a caring, present, and intellectually stimulating — yet goofy — figure in my son’s life.”
Craig Harding
What is the most memorable meal you and your own father have shared?
There are quite a few, but I would say wearing dinner jackets and dining at Truffles at the old Four Seasons when I was a kid. A seminal experience for sure! I also loved a meal we shared about 10 years ago. We cooked over fire when we camped out on Lake Powell, Arizona, under the stars on Navajo land. Unforgettable.
What has been the biggest surprise about fatherhood for you?
I’d say seeing the community of people that rally around you for support — both mentally and to just bring you wine and other essential goods! When I was a blissfully childless adult, I never understood the attrition you go through as a new parent, so I’m definitely going to pay it forward when any of my friends or family have a baby.
Are you a different type of parent than your own father?
It might be too soon to tell. But I think I’m going to carry some of the same traits. I hope to be a caring, present, and intellectually stimulating — yet goofy — figure in my son’s life.
Clint Roenisch: Gallerist for Historical and Contemporary Art
How has having children enriched your everyday life?
I didn’t have children until I was 50 years old, and I thought that ship had sailed. Then I met Leila — a dazzling woman, full of life — and my own life changed. Before Isa arrived, and then Lua, I didn’t feel as though I had seen it all. By no means. But I did think that I was old enough to have weathered the full emotional experience of being alive. The sublime, delirious heights of new love, the bottomless misery of love lost, that kind of thing. Then my children arrived, and my world deepened beyond everything I’d imagined.
What is the best advice you’ve received about fatherhood?
To be as present as possible and to be acutely aware of the passage of time. Babyhood is a magical, exhausting time for parents and then it’s over before you know it.
“I do hope to foster in my children the kind of resilience, conviction, and strength that a true artist needs to survive.”
Clint Roenisch
Has becoming a father influenced how you perceive and interpret art?
I was always interested in drawings by little ones. But, when your own kids start making their own, you get much closer to the innocence behind the expression. Also, having a gallery is such a bonus. I love hearing what my children think of whatever show may be up at the time.
Do you hope your children will develop their own passion for the arts?
I would love for them to become passionate collectors, generous philanthropists, or nurturing patrons. But artists? That is a difficult and rocky path strewn with more rejections and dashed dreams than it is eight-figure cheques and Venice Biennales. I do hope to foster in my children the kind of resilience, conviction, and strength that a true artist needs to survive — but the artist’s life itself? It’s a tough journey.
What has been the most challenging thing about fatherhood for you?
Cultivating patience! And time management. My gallery used to be my only baby.
Roberto Gibbons Gomez: The Expeditioners
To which destination are you/have you been most excited to take your children?
I love taking the kids on backcountry adventures anywhere in the world — and Canada is the wilderness I most know. Nothing beats kicking up to the Northwest Territories to canoe, camp, and watch the northern lights. My youngest had her first backcountry camping trip in Jasper, AB, and on her very first night sleeping in a tent, the auroras blasted across the sky. These are the memories that are never forgotten.
“It’s the unique love of being a father that most surprised me. I don’t believe anyone can prepare you for it.”
Roberto Gibbons-Gomez
What surprised you the most about becoming a dad?
It may sound cliche, but hands down it’s the unique love of being a father that most surprised me. I don’t believe anyone can prepare you for it. It’s next to impossible to replicate the feeling I get when one of my kids runs full throttle into my arms. But when things happen to your kids, it’s the most horrifying of experiences. It all comes down to love.
As an extreme globetrotter yourself, how protective are you of your children?
Where I am in the world definitely has a direct link to how I feel about the safety of my children. Without a doubt, I feel more confident about their safety if I am in a country like Iceland or Canada. That being said, I take my children on adventures that are a bit uncommon, from backcountry canoe trips to trekking up mountains. Being as prepared as possible takes a lot of the fear out of it, plus a good dose of experience.
What’s your favourite “dad hack”?
Currently I’m sitting on a bench in Mexico City with my youngest fast asleep in her Thule Sapling backpack. It’s a child carrier that sits your baby comfortably and safely while freeing up your arms and hands to attend to life. You know, the most important things like using hiking poles, getting milk ready for my daughter, and, last but not least, holding a beer. If you’re a hyperactive dad like me, get yourself a child carrier. Your kid will love it as well. To them, you’re holding them, and that’s the best place to be.
Rory Beattie: President, JLR Canada
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received about fatherhood?
What I remember most was shared by my mother, long before I became a father. She said, “Don’t sweat the small things because little children have little problems and big children have big problems.” I suppose my big problems are still to come. It puts perspective on many aspects of my life, both personally and professionally.
If you could take one “ultimate” road trip with your children, what would it be?
If given the choice of any adventure, I’d return to my beautiful home country, and share with my children the serenity of Baviaanskloof Wilderness Area in the Eastern Cape in South Africa. It is truly magnificent.
“My father had a great voice. We would sing “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers, which is still today one of my favourite songs and one that I used to put my daughter to sleep.”
Rory Beattie
What was the most unexpected impact of fatherhood on your life?
I would have never predicted the impact that fatherhood would have on me, but it wasn’t about me. It was how much more admiration it gave me for my wife and my mother that stood out, something I didn’t believe possible. Fathers do okay, but mothers have an innate and incredible ability to do things, things I am just incapable of achieving, regardless of how hard I try.
Are there any specific values you wish to impart in your children?
Integrity, tolerance, and unwavering perseverance.
What was the most memorable drive you ever took with your father?
We never really took a road trip, just the two of us, which I find funny considering our shared passion for vehicles, but we did spend an immense amount of time together in the car driving to sporting events. What made these drives memorable was the singing, my father had a great voice. We would sing “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers, which is still today one of my favourite songs and one that I used to put my daughter to sleep. I’m not sure what that says about the song, or perhaps me.
Ian Rosen, President and COO
As the third generation of his family to lead Canadian menswear retailer Harry Rosen, Ian Rosen has a unique perspective on the importance of strong relationships between fathers and sons. Menswear may be in his blood, but as a father to three young daughters, he’s enjoying becoming as skilled at braiding hair as he is at selling suits and ties.
What’s the biggest challenge of being a dad for you?
Being able to balance what’s going on professionally with being the dad that I want to be at home. I learned that lesson from my father and grandfather who travelled a lot and had very busy professional lives. It’s very challenging, but it’s really important for me.
What’s been the most rewarding thing for you so far?
My oldest daughter is getting super into music so I’m trying to get her hooked on bands that I like. She recently got to know a few Beatles songs and we made some headway with Yellow Submarine. I’m just fascinated that there are these things that they don’t know about yet and I get the opportunity to introduce them to. It’s really cool.
How are you a different parent than your dad was?
We’re in the same profession and business never stops, and even more so in today’s world where we have e-commerce running 24/7 365. There’s always an excuse to turn back to business so having the discipline not to do that is probably the most important trait that I was taught as a kid. But my dad also had three boys and I have three girls, so it’s definitely different… I can do a very good French braid.
Nazem Kadri, Athlete
After a decade playing for the Toronto Maple Leafs, Kadri secured his place in history by helping the Colorado Avalanche take home the Stanley Cup in 2022, with seven playoff goals and eight assists to his credit. Recently signed to a seven-year, $49-million contract with the Calgary Flames, Kadri is proud to be an executive board member of the Hockey Diversity Alliance and one of the most successful Muslim hockey players of all time.
What surprised you the most about becoming a dad?
How fulfilling it is to come home to my little girl.
What’s the best advice you’ve received about fatherhood?
Enjoy the early years.
What’s the most challenging thing about fatherhood for you?
Having patience every day.
What’s your favourite way to bond with your daughter?
Watching her play sports and playing them with her.
What’s your favourite “dad hack”?
I just try to make her as busy as possible during the day, and that always makes bedtimes easier.
How are you a different parent than your own dad?
I’m very hands-on, and I enjoy spending quality time with my daughter, just like my dad used to do with me. I would say I’m a more patient man than my father was, which has been key in raising her.
As a dad who travels for work, how do you try to show up for your kids, even if you’re not home?
Travelling is hard, but my daughter and I FaceTime every day. I’m always checking in to see how her day is going.
Neil Pasricha, Author
In his 20s, following a painful divorce and the suicide of his best friend, Neil Pasricha started a blog called 1000 Awesome Things to try and cheer himself up. A little more than a decade later, he’s a New York Times best-selling author of 10 books with a popular podcast and a full schedule of speaking engagements around the world. His latest title, Our Book of Awesome (Simon & Schuster, $30) brings his uplifting mix of wit and insight to the myriad small joys of being human.
What surprised you the most about becoming a dad?
There’s a feeling of… not quite immortality, but maybe a lessening of my own self-importance.
What’s the best advice you’ve received about fatherhood?
“Who you are matters more than what you do.”
What’s your favourite “dad hack”?
Keep all the Lego pieces on a blanket. Then scoop up the entire blanket and put it in the bin.
Have you ever felt constrained by stereotypes about how a dad should or shouldn’t be?
These days it feels like we’re past most dad expectations or judgments. For me it’s just a game of time and of savouring. If life expectancy now is 10 decades — knock on wood — there’s only one decade with little kids. So it’s doing all the things that feel implausible but which you’ll never regret. In general, it’s aiming for less programming and more time together.
What’s the best way to think about parenthood and happiness?
Nothing matters more to long-term happiness than the strength of your relationship with friends and family. Nothing. Not health, not income, not nationality — nothing. So every father-son hooky day or after-dinner dance party or long chat in the car is ultimately a strengthening of the relationship — and of future happiness.
Eric Senftleben: Managing Director, Citizen Watch Canada
What is the best advice you’ve received about fatherhood?
A couple of pieces from my father. Firstly, family is precious, so value the time you spend with them and cherish the special memories. The next was not to coddle your child. Let them fail, let them rise and overcome challenges. Finally, help them achieve more in life than you and help them build their legacy.
Do you have any heirlooms you plan to pass down to your daughter?
I have a nice collection of timepieces, some of which have been passed down to me. I intend to pass on all of these to my daughter, including my cherished Citizen archive collection! Regardless of the pieces, I find it important to pass down the stories and memories associated with each of these items.
“I am incredibly proud that my daughter has grown into a kind and beautiful young woman. She is, without a doubt, my greatest achievement.”
Eric Senftleben
What surprised you the most about becoming a dad?
Becoming a dad, which is essentially being given the responsibility for another human being, was somewhat terrifying to me. However, it is amazing to witness the growth and development of your child. I am incredibly proud that my daughter has grown into a kind and beautiful young woman. She is, without a doubt, my greatest achievement.
Do you hope your daughter will share your interest in watches?
I’m sure every parent hopes to have some shared interests with their child. As I’ve been in the industry for many years, my daughter has been exposed to watches and her interest has grown, though probably not as much as mine. But that’s okay. I would rather she take an interest in something that sparks as much passion and joy in her life as watches have in mine.
Are you a different type of parent than your own father?
My parenting style has evolved, as technology has made it much easier to communicate and be involved in my daughter’s life than it was for my father when I was growing up. For instance, technology has been tremendously helpful in maintaining our relationship while my daughter has been studying in Europe.
Cory Vitiello: Chef
A star of the Canadian culinary scene for more than 15 years, Vitiello splits his time between developing restaurant concepts for LFG Growth Partners and running Flock, his growing chain of rotisserie restaurants. Vitiello’s latest project, however, is closer to his heart: a book about cooking with his son. In his new book, Dad in the Kitchen (Penguin Random House, $37.50), Vitiello shares his favourite dishes to make for (and with) kids.
What’s the best advice you’ve received about fatherhood?
The best advice that I had came from Martina, my partner, who from day one encouraged me to be a part of bedtimes, feeding times, and nap times. I didn’t have a lot of friends who had similar experiences, but if she hadn’t insisted that I share those responsibilities, I would have missed an opportunity to create a real emotional connection and bond with Barlow from day one.
How are you a different parent than your dad was?
He’s much more outdoorsy than me, and I remember from an early age learning how to canoe and fish and all of these kinds of quintessential father-child moments. My version of that is inside the kitchen. We cook together, we talk together, and that’s our bonding. It’s not going out into nature and pitching a tent, it’s going to the grocery store or the market and picking our dinner tonight.
What’s your go-to recipe to make with your son?
If it’s been a challenging day and we need something quick on the table I like to make a kind of carbonara with broccoli and this creamy cheese-egg sauce. Barlow pulls up his little stool and sometimes he helps me grate the cheese and mix the eggs, or he’ll just draw or mould play dough beside me while I’m cooking.
