I think I was supposed to do this in my twenties. Find myself, that is. We will see if it’s true that it’s never too late, but I have a good feeling about how it’s going based on the last year and a half or so. Over the past couple of issues, I’ve talked about taking liberties, and living every experience like it’s the last time. These ideas and ponderings have resonated more with you, dear readers, than anything I’ve written before. So, let’s continue the journey of mid-life awakening and self-discovery, shall we?

While I’ve often been in a rush, paradoxically, I do not like to be rushed. I’m adding more time to everything I do, taking my time, allowing myself the time to do and enjoy things at the pace I want to, and I’m increasingly comfortable telling people they must wait or, simply, no. It’s a great awakening to be able to draw a line and state what I want, the way I want something done, and the time I wish to spend doing it. As a leader for more than 20 years, I’ve always done it to a greater degree than most, but now I see even less necessity for compromise.

I’ve been referring to it as stealing time. Ridiculous because it’s mine to use as I please, but I don’t imagine I’m alone in thinking that using time the way I want is somehow taking it away from some other obligations or commitments. It feels a lot healthier, though. Add a day or two to business travel, workout when it feels best, move things around, don’t worry about changing plans, direction, objectives, and priorities. It’s all new to me, but I’m loving it.

I’ve increased the frequency and variety of new experiences in the pursuit of business, pleasure, and long-term direction. Travel, functions, exercise, friendships, acquaintances — I’m trying to see and do as much as possible while maintaining some semblance of stability and sustainability in the life I’ve built. That said, the latter is changing, and will no doubt change much more in the coming years as these experiences inform and redirect who I am, what I do, and what I want to be in the second “half” of my life.

There are interests I once thought were important that are no longer. Things I thought I would aspire to be or do, that I won’t. It’s all slowly, and not so slowly, evolving and changing in ways I never anticipated or planned for, and, you know what? I’m happier for it because I’ve found so much and lost nothing.

FEATURE IMAGE: MICHAEL LA FAVE. PHOTO BY MATT BARNES.