Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but boy, did the Grammys get it wrong last night. We may have finally found something more out of touch with reality than a Sean Spicer press conference.
But that’s kind of become the Grammys’ M.O. in recent years, hasn’t it? They consistently manage to screw even the simplest things up: the night’s biggest awards. The performances. Even the in memoriams. There’s always been something inherently cringeworthy about awards shows, whether it’s tone deaf, faux-humble speeches or painfully scripted presenter “banter.” But the Grammys has increasingly become an awards show that can’t seem to get out of its own damn way.
For all the good – Beyoncé continuing to be Beyoncé, Chance the Rapper’s big night, “President Agent Orange” – TBH, last night’s Grammys felt like the death knell for the show’s pop culture relevancy. The final nail in the coffin. When we can all collectively agree that, yeah, you know what? This just isn’t working for us anymore.
Here’s a look back at the night’s most egregious flubs and miscues.
9. Metallica’s Mic Problems
Technical difficulties at your local’s open mic night? To be expected. But at the music business’ most prestigious awards show? That’s just inexcusable. The only thing more awkward than watching Metallica front man James Hetfield scream into a dead microphone was that choreographed mosh pit on the corner of the stage. Real “metal,” guys.
8. Adele’s False Start
You know how Beyoncé’s big Grammys performance was powerful, graceful and just generally flawlessly put-together? Yeah, Adele’s George Michael tribute was… definitely not that, forcing the singer to stop halfway through “Fastlove” and start over. At this point, Adele having mic issues has become the Grammy version of Jennifer Lawrence tripping at the Oscars.
7. That Bee Gees Tribute
Honestly, I would’ve rather seen Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon giggle through another round of Gibb Brothers impressions than that weak-ass medley.
6. The Night’s Pacing
You’d think if anyone knew how to put on a good show, it’d be an industry built around doing exactly that. But for some bizarre reason, the performances in the first half of the Grammys were mainly slow jams, which didn’t exactly pump up the crowd. Then, as the night dragged on well past the dreaded three-hour mark, if anything screamed “cut for time,” it was Pentatonix’s pointless Jackson 5 cover.
5. John Travolta Vs. The Teleprompter: Round Two
Hard to say whether this was a failed attempt at self-deprecation or just Travolta having Adele Dazeem flashbacks. Either way, I think we can safely stop asking John Travolta to speak during awards shows now.
4. Adele Breaking One of Her Grammys
Technically speaking, Adele had a great night at the Grammys. Except Adele did not have a great night (see: above. Also, below.) She flubbed another performance, seemed genuinely taken aback to beat Beyoncé for Album of the Year, and then promptly snapped the trophy in half – intentionally? unintentionally? turning the end of the show into the end of Mean Girls.
3. Cardboard Karaoke Fell Flat
Awards show bits are always a mixed bag – especially when they involve elaborate props and audience participation – but James Corden’s Neil Diamond sing-along might’ve gone better if anyone involved actually, you know, knew the friggin’ words. If I wanted to hear a crowd mumble their way through “Sweet Caroline,” I can just go to Fenway.
2. Whatever the Hell CeeLo Was Wearing
Apparently, the official explanation for CeeLo deciding to show up to the Grammys dressed like a D-list Marvel supervillain is because he was debuting his new alter-ego “Gnarly Davidson.” In other news, here’s an exclusive look at CeeLo at the official Grammys after-party.
1. Adele Beating Beyoncé for Album of the Year
This one’s not on Adele, considering she spent the better part of her acceptance speech saying how she didn’t accept the night’s biggest award and how it should’ve gone to Beyoncé instead. In other words, she Kanye’d herself, dude. But still, if there was one year where Album of the Year should’ve been a no-brainer, it was this year. Instead #GrammysSoWhite just got even more ammunition.