We’ve all been there — at a party, having a good time until you get sucked deep into a dull-as-dishwater conversation with a person who just won’t take a breath. Your immediate instincts are to put your hand over the windbag’s mouth or take a jackhammer to your ear, but none are exactly advisable. So how do you politely end the misery?
Leave it to Todd Archer, ESPN’s Dallas Cowboys beat man, to give us a master class in extricating oneself from a stale conversation. Turns out, all you’ve got to do is walk the fuck away!
That’s what Archer did Wednesday morning during a live shot on SportsCenter (American SportsCenter, that is). Host Hannah Storm is in the middle of asking him a question about Tony Romo when the man just up and takes off.
Boom! It’s that easy! Archer has yet to comment on the incident — as one does; if you’re going to bail mid-conversation, you don’t give any explanations. You just bounce. Let the other person figure it out.
Speculation has been rampant as to why Archer walked off camera — Maybe he saw Tony Romo and decided to chase him! Maybe he received a “bae come over” text! Maybe he ate a Taco Bell Cheetos quesadilla for breakfast and needed to release the kraken! — but we all know what really went down. Dude was bored to death by Storm’s lame-ass blathering and wanted to GTFO.
Best of all, Storm just laughed the whole thing off, so as to avoid further awkwardness.
— Hannah Storm (@HannahStormESPN) May 31, 2017
It was a win-win: Archer escaped unscathed and Storm was left to assuage the uncomfortable fallout of the failed chitchat herself! Bloody brilliant.
Todd Archer, ladies and gentlemen: lord of social graces.