If Woody Harrelson Doesn’t Get Stoned in the New Han Solo Movie, I’m Walking Out

Ever since the Galactic Empire Disney began its never-ending, billion-dollar bantha stampede of Star Wars sequels, prequels, side stories and oh-so-much merchandise with The Force Awakens in 2015, there’s been a lot of talk about on-screen representation in these movies. Two films in, the Star Wars flicks from the House of Mouse have generally done pretty well on that front: both Awakens and Rogue One starred strong female leads, the latter’s main cast was as diverse as the stock photo on the cover of a college brochure, and J.J. Abrams recently revealed that gay characters will be included in future movies. Stay woke, nerf herders.

And now, at long last, another minority group will be making its much-anticipated debut in the Star Wars universe: stoners. Earlier today, it was officially confirmed that noted pot enthusiast Woody Harrelson will be joining the cast of the upcoming Han Solo standalone film, playing “a mentor figure to Han Solo.” The movie’s co-directors, Phil Lord and Chris Miller, praised Harrelson for his “humour and pathos” and mentioned that he “is also very good at ping pong.” Sounds to us like dude will be playing himself, and will be burning a whole lotta trees in the process.

This makes a ton of sense. Han has always been an outlier — a charming, coolheaded, fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pants scoundrel in a galaxy full of whiny, angst-ridden youths and stuck-up talking heads in conference rooms. Where else would he have picked up those laid-back vibes if not from sharing tokes with the bong master himself? Plus, the guy is a smuggler: what did you think he was filling the Falcon’s hidden cargo holds with, cans of tauntaun food? Not likely. And, of course, the most damning evidence of all: you think he’d be able to understand Chewie if he wasn’t high as balls?

chewbacca-han-talk

In any case, we’re very stoked at this turn of events. Star Wars has long been the background noise of choice for potheads the world over, and while Yoda’s head has always kinda looked like a marijuana leaf, casting Woody is the first explicit acknowledgment that the Saga is truly 420 friendly. We look forward to getting chills the moment he lights up a blunt with a lightsaber, hands it to Han in the back of Lando’s landspeeder, and says, all paranoid-like: “I have a bad feeling about this.”