Does ‘Arsenal’ Feature the Most Batshit Nic Cage Performance Yet?
Uh, you guys? Y’all are gonna need to watch the trailer for the upcoming thriller Arsenal. Now. Like, right now. Go ahead:
I mean wow, right? Yeah. That wasn’t a fever dream or a bad shroom trip or even a fake trailer from Entourage. You really did just watch Nicolas Cage go so far off the deep end that he’s now just a clump of hair clogged in the pool’s filtration system. Yes, he really did just scream and snarl and stumble across your screen like a high Inspector Clouseau wearing a No Country For Old Men wig and Steve Martin’s prosthetic nose from Roxanne. Yep, that really was John Cusack in a fucking do-rag. And yeah, that was Vinny Chase at the beginning somehow throwing a pitch even weaker than 50 Cent.
If all that didn’t catapult Arsenal to the very top of your 2017 must-see list, we don’t even want to know you. That trailer is perfection. Gold. Purer even than whatever cocaine Nicolas Cage was face-planting in throughout the making of this movie. It is, without question, the anti-Passengers. See you at the multiplex.
