Given the state of our world today, it’s easy to hypothesize that the human race is slaloming downwards into a genetic cesspit. Well, today we have verifiable evidence that this is indeed the case.
Beginning with the Coke Zero 400 at Daytona International Speedway on Saturday, NBC will be taking over NASCAR Cup Series race broadcasts for the second half of the season. To build hype for the big race, the network shared a recipe for deep-fried Coke, which sounds absolutely fucking awful.
It’s basically an ungodly concoction of Coke, eggs, and sugar, tossed into a deep frier. There’s a good chance they’ll be serving this deathly dross on Saturday, and if so, God knows people will be lining up in droves to stuff their cake holes with it. If we devoted a fraction of the energy to space travel that we devote to frying things we should never fry, we’d all be living on Venus by now.
Can you eat Coca-Cola, instead of drink it? 🤔
— NASCAR on NBC (@NASCARonNBC) June 28, 2017
If you have no self-respect, and own a deep-fryer (which, essentially, is proof you have no self-respect), here’s a recipe for the stuff:
-2 cups of Coca-Cola
-1/4 cup of granulated sugar
-3-4 cups of all-purpose flour
-2 teaspoons of baking powder
-1/2 teaspoon of salt
 Okay, fine, that actually sounds kind of tasty.