A Rob Ford Movie Is Being Made, and Naturally, There’s Lots of Drama Surrounding It

Poor Doug Ford. While the Ontario Tory leader is gearing up for the upcoming provincial election, his deceased brother Rob is still stealing all the headlines from him. The controversial, crack-smoking, late mayor of Toronto will be played by English actor Damian Lewis in an upcoming film called Run This Town, according to the Hollywood Reporter. And this movie already looks bananas.

Firstly, Damian Lewis? Really? The spindly ginger from Homeland? My vote would’ve gone to Chris Farley’s brother Kevin (in lieu of Chris, of course). Apparently, Lewis will be fitted with a prosthetic in order to play Ford. As if they couldn’t find a real plus-sized dude to act sweaty and awkward and drunk on screen. What does the body positivity movement have to say about this?

Other confirmed actors in the movie, which is currently being filmed in Toronto, include Canadians Nina Dobrev and Mena Massoud as Ford’s aides, as well as Hogtown’s own Scott Speedman (Ben from Felicity, obvy).

Also strange is the film’s choice of protagonist. Pitch Perfect actor Ben Platt will play a  “bumbling newsroom intern” who catches wind of Ford’s crack pipe-hitting, gang-connected ways and attempts to break the story. IRL, it was the Toronto Star’s Kevin Donovan and Robyn Doolittle (now at the Globe) who led the reporting on the Ford scandal, with Doolittle being the one who got the initial tip.

Platt is way too young to be playing Donovan (though I must say the reporter looks great for his age and most definitely moisturizes). This leads one to believe the screenwriters decided to reimagine Doolittle as a hack-y young dude, which is such a classic, can’t-read-the-room Hollywood move. As you’d imagine, Robyn wasn’t too pleased to hear the news.

https://twitter.com/robyndoolittle/status/983726195840864256

No word yet on whether Platt will come to his senses, exit the film, and be replaced with a female, a la Ed Skrein switching up with Daniel Dae Kim in the Hellboy reboot.

Of course, it’s also possible Platt’s character isn’t actually a stand-in for Doolittle, and is merely a shitty reporter who tries to investigate the Ford story and fails/gets caught up in gang activity/somehow winds up on Ford’s football team/smokes crack himself.

Whatever the case, my only request is that they tap The Situation from Jersey Shore to play Ford’s driver and bro Sandro Lisi, and D’arcy Wretzky from the Smashing Pumpkins to play his wife Renata Ford.

Oh, also, they really need to reenact this scene in the movie.

(And if they could rebuild Steak Queen for this, my Rexdale-residing parents would be eternally grateful.)

This scene, too!

I will now refrain from further conjecture, as I cannot comment on a movie that I have never seen or does not exist.