Those with a penchant for discreet, untraceable means of communication — namely, drug dealers, adulterers, and George Clooney — will want to camp out for this one. Supreme, mighty overlords of hypebeast fashion, have unveiled their Fall/Winter 2019 catalogue, and tucked in with the usual kooky accessories (including a Kent hairbrush and Baccarat Dom Perignon champagne flutes) is a BLU “Burner Phone” emblazoned with their logo.
From the looks of it, this is a pretty rudimentary aughts-era phone. The catalogue describes it as an “unlocked GSM 3G cellphone with built-in camera and dual SIM card capability.” Which means it’ll let you connect to the Internet at very choppy speeds, snap a photo, send a text, and, if you’re lucky, play a game of Snake.
But that logo, though. It’s displayed inside the digital screen, as well as wrapped on the phone’s body, and comes in big, white, Supreme-y sans serif font. That alone makes it worth the price, which, based on what the brand charged for their dog bowl, is likely going to be preposterous.
We’re not here to pooh-pooh dumb phones, though. (We have extolled their virtues in the past, after all.) If an overpriced, steezed-up Zoey 2.4 is what you need to overcome your crippling screen addiction, then more power to you. All we ask is that you buy two of them — one for the plug, one for the load.