A Man Worth Listening To: Bill Hader
What makes you so neurotic? Where does it stem from?
I don’t know. I’ve always had it, ever since I was a kid. I think I just came out anxious. Taking tests, playing sports, no matter what I’m doing, my mind just starts racing towards all the What Ifs. I tend to prefer planning eight steps ahead of everything. I’m a terrible person to go travelling with because I’ll always be trying to figure out what’s going to happen over the next three days instead of just enjoying what we’re doing right now.
Do you worry that your post-SNL career might not go as planned? I recall Jonah Hill ribbing you for doing T-Mobile commercials right after leaving the show.
No! [Laughs.] That was really funny. My wife still talks about it and goes, “Not my boy Bill!” But I wasn’t worried about that. It was more about moving back to LA, now with kids and a wife. So there’s this pressure to keep working. But hopefully, if I’m lucky, I’ll work on things that I like. Of course, sometimes you’ve got to take work because you’ve got to make some money. So yeah, I did T-Mobile commercials and I was the voice of Mr. Peanut. But those commercials are fun and pay incredibly well. So if I can do that, then it affords me opportunity to do movies like The Skeleton Twins, which paid no money, but artistically was really great.
I thought they were going to cast James Marsden, a good-looking guy who could do comedy. But no. I’m the main guy.
In films, you’re usually the best friend’s best friend who pops up for one scene and then disappears. What’s it like finally being the guy on the movie poster in Trainwreck?
Honestly, when I read the script I thought Judd wanted me to play Mike Birbiglia’s part. You know, Amy Schumer’s sister’s husband. I was like, “Oh yeah, I know how to do that!” And then I saw the sides were for the male lead. I thought they were going to cast James Marsden or someone like that—you know, a good-looking guy who could do comedy. But no. I’m the main guy.
Was it nerve-wracking, being the main guy?
My anxiety really just comes out when I have to watch myself. I don’t enjoy this process, where I have to do publicity for the movie, because I have to watch it so I know what’s in the movie. I don’t like the way I look or sound. [Laughs.] You have this projection of yourself in your head—this idea of what you look and sound like while you’re working on it. And then, when you see it, it’s just not what you want. I actually tried to modify it a few times for Trainwreck. I tried lowering my voice at one point. And the director was like, “What the fuck are you doing?” I was like, “I don’t know, I hate the way I sound.” And they were like, “No, it’s fine. Relax.” So I decided I’m not going to look at that shit anymore. At the movie premiere, I’m going to skip the movie.
Your career sounds insanely stressful. How do you manage?
Like, with Trainwreck, you have no idea if people are going to see it. You don’t even know what’s going to happen in the world. So, all you can say is, “We made something good.” That’s what I learned on SNL. You can’t control these things. Why, of all the characters I played, was Stefon the one that everyone liked? I had no idea. And yet that thing hit, while other things we worked harder on didn’t. You just don’t know why. So the only thing you can do is just keep making stuff and enjoying the process. Make the job more about that than chasing some sort of reward. That stuff is what drives a person crazy. It’s a tough way to live.
Are you finally finding Zen at this point in your life?
You know, there are always new things to worry about. [Laughs.] But I have calmed down a lot. Ten years ago, I was a wreck. The anxiousness still comes out; I still get to the airport really early. But as far as worrying about shit I can’t control, I’m mostly over that. My wife’s been a good example. I just watch her and say, “Why is she so calm?” You get to the airport and find out the plane is five hours late. I’d be freaking out, but then I’d see her just take out a book and read or put on a few movies on her laptop. She’s very positive and accepts things as they come. I’ve been married to her for ten years now, so it’s really starting to even me out.
